Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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