Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
