You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
