He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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