I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Green mimosas i think yes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
