Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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