All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
