when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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