can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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