My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
