don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
