How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
