he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
