coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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