But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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