The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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