I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize