How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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