why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
