please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
COCAINE IS GR8
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
