Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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