Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
