Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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