Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
