Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
