He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
