i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
