We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
