As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
