Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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