Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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