Your tits are I can't wait for
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
