Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
