Got a toothbrush?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize