Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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