K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
