Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
