Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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