If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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