He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
