If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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