R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
