She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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