tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize