If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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