What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize