Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Houston, we have a squirter
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
