Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Your dad touched me again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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