I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
