i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
