that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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