Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
