Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
