The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
