She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
