I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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