We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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