Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
