yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
