Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
