Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
