hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
