did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
