so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
