Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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