Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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